Yesterdays

Sometimes I get swept away. My feelings take over, and I am lost. It is like an addiction, really. All it takes is a mention of a name, a date, or a place, and suddenly I am on a quest for my next high. All I want is to be there again. That person, that day, that place. That's all I want, and I will keep looking until I get that feeling again. Things are different now, though. I have made a huge commitment to someone that I love, and I can't go chasing after the dream that once was. It is time to close the door completely. It is time to seal it shut, and ask God to remove the knob.

Beautiful Moment: As I read through my old journals and blogs, yearning for a time that has long passed, I looked down at my ring and remembered that there is so much more to come. So much more.

I am New.

23 years old, severely lacking in ambition. Each step I take is in a different direction with no destination in sight. Is it crucial to know if I am with You? My future was hopeless before Your promise gave me hope. My past was simply sordid before You gave it meaning. I want to go away from here, where mediocrity and average days swallow me whole. Take me. Send me. I want to go with you.

Beautiful moment: As I put my pen to paper, I felt the urge to write. It was overwhelming. Out came a letter to people just like me, who struggle with feeling average within the Kingdom of God. I knew it was Him telling me that there is no such thing. That is the God I serve.